#12: Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand)
A letter from my sickbed: things to listen to, read, lust over, learn from, and an exclusive discount
If you saw my Open Discussion chat on Friday, you’ll know that I’ve been ill recently. I had a canker sore in my throat that made eating, drinking, talking, or just swallowing in general incredibly painful. Anyone who knows me knows that eating is one of my greatest joys in life, and especially when I feel under the weather it’s the one thing to help me feel better, so not being able to eat was really miserable! Then over the weekend I caught the cold that’s been bouncing around my family, so add coughing to the list of things that have irritated my already painful throat. I’m hopefully coming out the other side now, which is a relief as I have so much work to catch up on. But all of this preamble is to explain that this newsletter is a little shorter than usual, simply because I've not really been doing much other than playing Sims, sucking Strepsils, and complaining to my husband!
But here’s your newsletter recap: a beautiful song; a really important social media campaign from a wonderful charity; a product recommendation (with discount code); some brilliant pyjamas I’m lusting over; a book I think you’ll love; a seasonal film channel recommedation; a video that really spoke to me; and a few articles about the psychological impact of rosacea.
This newsletter contains affiliate links, which means that if you buy using my link I get a small percentage at no extra cost to you. It’s a great way of saying ‘thanks’ for the content I share here and I appreciate it!
Listening: This week’s song obsession is Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand) by Irma Thomas. Released in 1968 but still a flipping great song. You might recognise it as a recurring song in Black Mirror.
Sharing: Every year at this time, Changing Faces share content reminding people that visible differences are not costumes and asking people to reconsider using another person’s appearance as a ‘scary’ outfit. There are so many cool things you can dress up as for Halloween, it’s easy to not cause hurt and upset to others with your choices.
Using: Cold weather, central heating, wind, illness… my skin is really going through it at the moment. I’ve been using the new By Sarah Tender Skin Balm and it’s really lovely. It’s a cross between a moisturiser and a skin barrier balm, that helps with dry and itchy skin. It’s been great for dog walks as it helps protect my skin from the weather, and helps soothe my skin in the evenings when it’s feeling tight. The lovely By Sarah team have offered readers of my newsletter an exclusive discount if you’d like to try it out, just use the code LEX20 for 20% off anything on their website HERE. If you’re looking for other recommendations, I love their Hero facial oil and their new Serene sunscreen is also really lovely.
Wishlisting: These pyjamas from Joanie have gone straight on my Christmas list (yes I still get new PJs every Christmas, yes I’m 40 years old, *Ariana Grande ‘what about it?’ gif*). Such a cute cowgirl print! PLUS they’re currently in the sale… even better. Find them - and all the other amazing patterns - HERE.
Sharing: I love this woman’s message. The way we as a society talk about ageing is absolutely unhinged and this kind of content is so needed to remind us that 1) Ageing is a privilege and not something we should fear 2) Ageing is not shameful, it happens to everyone and 3) Insulting people will never bring them onto your side. This misogynistic language needs to be eradicated. It’s not okay when men talk about women like this and it’s not okay when women do it either.
Watching: Every winter, my husband signs us up for a subscription to the Hallmark channel so we can watch the so-bad-they’re-good Christmas films. But this year we’ve gone in early and heavy with the autumnal films (Cosy Pumpkin festivals! Struggling farm shops! High flying women leaving the city to help her family in the country and unexpectedly meeting up a high school love who has a beard, doesn’t like social media, and only wears plaid shirts!) I highly recommend signing up for the 7 day free trial HERE so you can fully immerse yourself in cheese and cosiness (and I bet you end up keeping it until Christmas…!)
Reading: Every year, around this time, I reread Wintering by Katherine May. It’s part memoir and part self-help and I’ve recommended it to so many people. The subheading is ‘the power of rest and retreat in difficult times’ and that sums up why it’s such a great book to read at this time of year. It talks about the natural seasons of our life and how, in order to be our best in ‘summer’, we need to rest and recoup in ‘winter’. This is a season of being slow, of looking back as well as looking forward, of being gentle with ourselves to make sure we’re ready for what’s next. The author is very privileged and a lot of the choices she makes aren’t accessible to most, but if you look past that to the underpinning themes and lessons, I think you’ll find it as comforting as I do. Buy it HERE.
Learning: This article discusses the need for medical professionals to prioritise the psychological impact of skin conditions. This is a topic that is so dear to my heart and one that I’ve been banging the drum about for as long as I’ve been educating people about rosacea. If you have a skin condition that is visible to other people, it is likely to have an impact on your self-perception and how you think you are perceived by others. If your skin condition is worsened by stress or anxiety, than that psycholgical impact is inextricably linked to the physcial symptoms as well. It makes no sense to me that GPs and Dermatologists don’t discuss the emotional and psychological impact of skin conditions as standard. You can read the article HERE.
As I mentioned above, I have written about the psychological impact of living with rosacea many times over the years: THIS POST from 2 years ago about the Parliamentary debate with members of the APPGS (All Party Parliamentary Group on Skin) where they recommended changes to the NHS’s approach to managing and treating skin conditions. THIS POST from 7 years ago about the unseen cost of living with a skin condition (trigger warning: this post mentions suicidal ideation). The post below where I share my thoughts on the burden of skin conditions and how it can chip away at you over the days, months, years:
Although we have come on leaps and bounds with the awareness of rosacea as a skin condition over the years, I think we are still so far behind where we need to be when it comes to talking about the less visible parts of the condition. If you search for rosacea on social media, there are countless videos showing how to cover rosacea, talking about skincare that will help, focusing on products and sales, but very very few where people discuss the mental impact and internal damage it causes. Focusing on and treating the visible side of rosacea is a plaster on a wound and will only ever serve as a temporary salve. We still have far to go, and I will continue to bang that drum.
Thank you so much for reading this newsletter, I’m sorry it was a little bit shorter than usual. Hopefully I’ll be back to my waffly full strength by next week!
Thanks for sharing the post from hydrationceo. As a little old lady I am grateful to see younger people calling out age- and appearance-related bigotry. Kindness matters so much more than looks at every age!
The use of that song in Black Mirror is so impactful when I'm watching but the genius comes with my Pavlovian response whenever I hear it in the wild and instantly get chills/a sense of dread